Breaking the invisible barrier

 I would like to think I had a much shielded childhood. No… I wasn’t pampered. Just that even simple tasks like going to a bank, post office or doing anything outside the four walls of my house was always taken care of by my mom, dad or anyone other than me.  And no, my family isn’t one of those extremely conservative or highly orthodox ones who don’t allow their daughters to leave the house.  They are very open- minded and always wanted me to be more independent but maybe it was my nature or my temperament because of which I always resisted such activities.

Then, I got married and my wonderful husband too let me blissfully be unaware of any outside tasks and took care of all the banking, bill payments and every other paper work involved in any household.  Even my cell phone gets recharged miraculously without having to worry about. And coming to travelling alone, it is something I fear the most and never had to do it. Travelling by public transport by myself is like going on “fear factor” challenge for me.

Don’t get me wrong. I am your typical 21^st century woman who believes in women empowerment and exerts her freedom by deciding what she wants to do.  And with an extremely supportive and encouraging family, I have nothing stopping me from doing what I want to, but the thought of doing any of the above mentioned things independently gives me the jitters.

Recently my friend proposed that I join her group in an exclusive women’s trip to a neighbouring city. I can’t even think of going to any place alone by myself in the city I have lived for more than 8 years, let alone out of city. So, I told her precisely that and backed off.

During a casual chat a few days later, I was telling my family about this all women trip and everyone especially my daughter told me that I must go on that trip, enjoy with my friends, do something just for myself and stop being such a ‘fraidy cat….(that’s how she put it).

I dismissed the idea right away with a “What nonsense….me and travelling without my family, that too out of town…No Way”. But my daughter’s words got me thinking… Am I just living a life within a self-imposed boundary and afraid to step out of my comfort zone? If yes, then how long am I going to live in some baseless fear of doing things on my own?  Most importantly, what kind of an example am I setting for my daughter? 

Then I made the most uncomfortable decision. I decided to go on that exclusive women’s trip after all. No one can help me get over my inhibitions but me. I need to take the first step towards overcoming my fears… one step at a time. I need to break the invisible barrier stopping me from living without fear. Conquering one fear at a time….